DeanneBrooke.com

Sometimes your own scars startle you. Sometimes you wonder why you’re crying after midnight-you wonder where your very first misstep occurred. You might despise the way someone’s face contorts when they are telling you just how wrong you are. Sometimes you can’t keep it all in even when you know it isn’t going to come out right. Sometimes one sentence changes your whole day…for better, or worse.

dbr

Photo Credit: Deanne Brooke Rivera–6.29.11

I can run inside the shadow, but there is a circle in place of a finish line…it’s a pit without a pendulum, a staircase spiraling downward.  A moment on fire, frozen in time. 

I can count the rain clouds and the empty branches on the tree…the sky is opening up again, but all I can see is that you too, are empty.  An unwritten book in hand.  Just you, searching for me.

photo credited to: Lauren Elizabeth Crown

Soul, driving down this lonesome road

Somewhere…somewhere, someone’s waiting

You’re leaving with a part of me

Stolen…stolen time that once was mine

Precious words we left unheard

Desert me and deceive me, but I don’t care

I don’t care anymore

You love me then you leave me, but I don’t care

I don’t care anymore

Heart, stepping through the door alone

Somewhere…somewhere, someone’s longing

Smiled, someone at the red light smiled

Saved me, saved me from my inner strife

Baby, he just saved my life

Desert me and deceive me, but I don’t care…

I don’t care anymore.

Photo Rights Reserved--Deanne Brooke Rivera, www.DeanneBrooke.com

I posted yesterday for the first time in a long time–school, work and dance have all kept me busy as usual, but I will be updating the site more regularly. 

Stay tuned.

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You can always tear away part of the fabric right at the seam–I can show you how.  I can help you fill up the void and stitch things back together too…

There is so much more that I am capable of finishing up for you–but that’s not really what I want.  I know what you’re looking for–I know what you need.  I fully understand what this is bound to grow into…

change is coming, it happens every day.  And it’s not that I don’t like it, but are you honestly going to look right at me and tell me not to hold on to just one small piece of any and everything that I love?  Will you insist on telling me that I shouldn’t keep any of it–any trace of the breeze, any scent of a torn shirt that passes by me?

I’ve been cultivating my memories…how do you think I ended up this way?

Ending up is fine with me,

Everything I am is a benefit to you.

Find one whole love ‘Under the Bridge’…

or not.  Either way–

I’m the one.

dbr 

7.20.2010

Image:

http://www.bottesfordhistory.org.uk

Peace in thy hands,

Peace in thine eyes,

Peace on thy brow;

Flower of a moment in the eternal hour,

Peace with me now.

Not a wave breaks,

Not a bird calls,

My heart, like a sea,

Silent after a storm that hath died,

Sleeps within me.

All the night’s dews,

All the world’s leaves,

All the winter’s snow

Seem with their quiet to have stilled in life’s dream

All sorrowing now.

Moonlit Forest

david-hales.com

14 x 20 in. Water Color

1998

I could tell you why I’m empty, and when I’m feeling full- the distance overlaps here though, brings back the bitter taste, the final push and pull. Skating on thin ice because there’s fire underneath, still smiling when I’m with you though- you’re still inside the space I can reach.

You read me like a book most days, always pleading when you know something is wrong, but this time I can’t place the emptiness…no matter what, it won’t take long. Isn’t that right? Isn’t that what they think? Please just pick me up again, I can’t start sinking today…please set me on my feet.

You’re just as full now, as you were when this started…I told you day one that I was still so broken-hearted. Standing in the parking lot, the air was cooling across my face- Standing right in front of you, my secret sacred place.

And I’m filling up the empty space, though I’m not sure you can really tell.

Smiling in the summertime. This is why I fell.

dbr